Are you tired of being just another Joe Shmoe in the podcasting world? Do you crave the power and respect of being a true podcasting authority? Fear not, my dear friend, because I have six simple steps that will transform you from a podcasting nobody to a podcasting god.

Step 1: Choose a random niche and claim expertise

The first step to becoming a podcasting authority is claiming expertise in a random niche. Don’t worry about actually knowing anything about the niche, just pick something that sounds impressive like “quantum mechanics” or “medieval poetry.” Then, start spouting off big words and complex concepts like you know what you’re talking about. Your listeners will be none the wiser!

Step 2: Use a fancy microphone

It’s important to sound professional when you’re trying to establish yourself as a podcasting authority. Invest in a fancy microphone that makes you sound like a radio host from the 1950s. It doesn’t matter if it’s just for show – as long as it looks impressive, your listeners will be convinced of your expertise.

Step 3: Talk really fast

Podcasting authorities always speak quickly and confidently. Don’t give your listeners time to process what you’re saying or they might realize you’re just making stuff up as you go along. Plus, if you talk fast enough, you can cram more nonsense into each episode.

Step 4: Guest appearances on other podcasts

Make the rounds on the podcasting scene by guest appearing on other shows. When you’re introduced as an expert in your random niche, everyone will assume you’re legit. All you have to do is regurgitate some of the words you used in your own podcast, and no one will be the wiser.

Step 5: Promote your podcast like crazy

No one’s going to think you’re a podcasting authority if they’ve never heard of you. Promote your show on every social media platform, website, and forum you can find. Spamming people’s inboxes is a great way to get the word out, too. The more you promote, the more people will assume you’re a big deal.

Step 6: Be confident in your bullsh*t

Last but certainly not least, the key to becoming a podcasting authority is having unyielding confidence in your own bullsh*t. Don’t second-guess yourself or question your own expertise – if you act like you know what you’re talking about, people will assume you do. It doesn’t matter that you have no actual experience or education in your random niche. You’re the authority, damn it!

In conclusion, becoming a podcasting authority is easier than you think. Follow these six simple steps, and before you know it, you’ll have a legion of devoted listeners who think you’re the most knowledgeable person in your random niche.